While I wasn’t blown away by him at first glance, there wasn’t the usual sense of disappointment, either.
As the evening went on, we started getting on well together, exchanging stories over drinks.
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And it’s not that I thought he was the man of my dreams, but I didn’t spend the whole evening telling myself he wasn’t either, so he still could be.
Oh, and it turns out I’m much more fun with this laid-back mindset.
I’ve been for stilted drinks with friends of friends and almost given myself repetitive strain injury from right-swiping on Tinder.
And as I still haven’t met ‘the guy’, I’m coming to the realisation that I may have been going about this all wrong.
I walked away relaxed, surprised and just a little bit excited.
It’s not that there weren’t any quiet or tricky moments (like when he totally weirded me out talking about his ex-girlfriend, who happens to be a pole dancer), it’s just that I saw those moments as inevitable and didn’t catastrophise them.
Could I bring the same awareness when looking for love? I started out by writing a five-point dating manifesto.
It goes something like this: It was with this in mind that I found myself getting date-ready on another Thursday night recently.
We now speak on a daily basis, but if you’d asked me to decide after our second or third meeting whether we should ‘keep seeing’ each other, I probably would have said no. When we started working together, we had an awkward lunch where we tried to force a friendship.
To begin with, I found her a bit bolshie and overpowering but, fortunately for us, working together meant sharing an environment and, three years on, she’s one of my favourite people.
Regularly reminding myself not to expect an instant connection really made everything more fun.