In theory, online dating should be easy – browse through a catalog of photos and profiles, click on who you like, send a message and boom – start picking an outfit for your first date. You’ve read her profile, Googled that author she mentioned four times, and managed to tactfully point out your similarities without sounding desperate. According to Christian Rudder, co-founder of Ok Cupid, users on his site exchange about 4 million messages – a day. In his book, ‘Dataclysm: Who We Are When We Think No One’s Looking’, Rudder weighs in on whether a canned message actually works, or if women see through that BS in an instant. Let’s assume the initial hurdles standing between you and meeting the next Love of Your Life (or Your Night) online have been cleared – you’ve chosen a dating site, written an engaging profile, and selected the perfect profile picture. Or do you go the “mass appeal” route, and fire off the same message to 15-20 women in that same amount of time? You spend 20 minutes composing The Perfect Message. The point is, that’s 20 minutes of your life you’ll never get back.
To look at it a different way, using a template message is 75 percent as effective as creative a custom message, and a hell of a lot faster.
Of course, we here at Vi DA have been saying that since 2010, but it’s always nice to have an irrefutable data source on our side…
If you want better results in less time, copy/paste is hands-down the way to go.
(Further reading: This section of ‘Dataclysm’ reprinted on NYMag.com) Sounds great, but I still need a message… A thought-provoking, fun, playful message that stands out from the crowd of “hey, baby what’s up” and “hi” messages from all the losers who haven’t read our blog. Make it easy for her to respond by asking a question in your message.
So if you’re not getting the results you want from online dating, call in the experts today!
Virtual Dating Assistants is your very own team of experts who set up high-quality dates for you so you can finally meet your ideal woman.
Behold, the worst — and most hilarious — Ok Cupid messages I've ever received:1.
Most women who have dared to wander the ravaged halls of online dating have seen their fair share of hideous trolls.
Once you come up with a few good ones, test them out and keep the winners. And here’s where the copy/paste strategy comes into play.
And it’s surprisingly easy to come up with some good ones, if you keep two rules in mind: Get her attention with the subject line. What you ask should be broad enough to ask anyone, yet specific enough that the woman will think you actually read her profile. Use the “advanced search” function of the dating site to select a particular interest or keyword, let’s say “travel”.
Here’s a few Dos and Don’ts to keep in mind when writing icebreaker messages: DO: And remember, you’re not in this alone.